Married to Adonis

Adonis, in Greek mythology, is the god of beauty and desire.   Venus is the Roman goddess of love, beauty, fertility, prosperity and victory.  A match made in heaven.  Mostly that is.

I think many women will admit that when they see a man in Adonis shape they get a physical and visceral reaction.  A frisson of energy and interest.  I have heard it is the same for men when they see a woman at her Venus metrics.



There is a lovely symmetry when you can say that your soulmate is intellectually equal, emotional connected and physically matched.  However, there are a number of gender differences that can make this journey of togetherness a little challenging.

The truth about calories hurts

As an average height woman in Venus shape at just a shade under 5’4”, I am married to a 6’2” Adonis at his golden ratio.  At maintenance I get to eat about 1,400 calories per day……Adonis gets about 2,400 calories per day.

This really is a big challenge for me.  Portion sizes are made for big men.  Even a snack like a chocolate bar, a fru fru ‘grande’ sized coffee or a muffin can be 30% to 50% of my daily calorific intake.  Not for my Adonis.

We have all been trained over a lifetime to eat these portions.  For many women it is not just a matter of having a muffin less frequently.  It is a matter of both frequency and half sized portions.

I will give you a case in point.  My Adonis holds his maintenance at about 9-11% body fat (by DEXA).  When he decides to drop a little flab he stops his ice cream and chocolate intake and just start shedding pounds.

I hold my maintenance at about 15-17% body fat (by DEXA).  When I want to shed a little, I have to cut meals, portions, weigh everything and have no treats.  Then maybe the scale will move a little.

In general women just have to watch calories and portions more and cut a higher percentage of their daily calories to lose weight.

The truth is you cannot eat like a man and be Venus.

Muscle magic

Why is it that men just seem to look at a dumbbell in the gym and visibly start growing muscle.

I weigh about 60% of what my Adonis weighs.  Pound for pound I out-lift him on almost every move.  Yet my results pale into comparison with what he can achieve.  It is gender genetics and hormones but I find it really frustrating.

In addition a man in Adonis shape will have a body fat that is probably 8-10% less than a woman in Venus shape.  It is genetic, women just have a higher essential fat percentage.  In a man essential body fat is recognized as 2-5%, for women it is 10-13%.

This is important because on a like for like basis men will just be more ripped.  You will be able to see the muscles, striations, and more vascularity.

As a Venus you need to lift like a man but never expect the same results.

Ironman Mag Nov 2012

That crazy testosterone

That magic hormone that not only gives amazing muscle growth but also is responsible for that male courage and machismo to go and do crazy things.  Or to just be bigger and stronger.

I go to the gym with my Adonis but we also do all our adventures and sports together.  For us this includes skiing, mountain biking, hiking and sailing.  We typically do difficult and expert levels of these sports.

I know when I am standing on top of an extreme double black ski run that often times I am scared.  I worry about my physical strength and endurance.  I overcome this, but my Adonis just jumps in and off he goes.  When I look around it is quite rare to see another woman.  It is mainly men skiing together on this stuff.  Or some man trying to talk down his terrified wife.

Am I the only woman that feels like she is the weakest link in these physical pursuits?

Where are “U”?

Brad Howard’s “Attention U” explains how when we are at the top of our physical game we get attention and reactions from others.

It is true.  But I do think there is a gender bias.  When you are in Venus shape and maintaining more or less in fitness model shape, you will likely find you are an exception.  When you go to the gym you will likely be the only one with the mix of feminine shape, leanness and muscle.

For a man it is different.  At most big gyms across the world you will see 5 or 10 men in Adonis shape.  It is uncommon but not exceptional.

There is also a difference in the type of reactions an Adonis gets versus what a Venus gets.

I have spent the past 12 months working with my Adonis.  He is tall, in amazing shape and obviously strong and fit.  He just gets respect and instant leadership credibility.  People listen and believe him.

I too get a reaction but is more a recognizable spark of attraction.  I get my respect and leadership credibility, but I have to work it the old fashioned way.

Even at the gym, my Adonis gets asked about his program and results.  I on the other hand am much more likely to be told I look great.  No questions about how I got there.

An Adonis gets respect, a Venus gets attention.

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Facebook comments:


  1. Kimberley is an every day Venus for sure, on top of her physical game. 🙂

  2. Kimberley Dransfield says:

    Thanks Ro.

  3. Hi Kimberly,

    I too am a fellow Australian working and living in Hong Kong… using the Adonis Golden Ratio program.

    Can you tell me where one can go for a Dexa scan?

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